I am the black sheep of my entire family. I am different and proud of it but at the same time it makes my life so difficult. My sisters and mother have the same personality time and their mood change almost instantly. It is very hard to live around. My father on the other had isn't as bad and knows how to act and is quite professional may I add. But sometimes he just doesn't get that you don't always get what you want. (well he understands but if it's something that is so stupid he just wont let it go)
I feel I view life much differently then most people. I see both sides to most things so therefore I agree with most things. I feel I get along with just about anyone but sometime I'm just so different I just can't fit in to what everyone is talking about or doing. I am also not very outgoing to I feel that takes part in some of that.
My family is very much into colorgaurd and marching band. I tried it an I did't like it. It wasn't my thing. I honestly hated it. I do have to give credit to those people who do do it. I think that's wonderful. I just don't like it for myself. I love animals and i love doing animal rescue. My family doesn't seem to understand how importat it is to me tho. I know they know it's important. But i don't think they actually know why, not do they appreciate what I do.
My mother will go along with it and pretend she knows what she is talking about and my father will tell people what I do to make himself look good. But nethier of them say why I do it. Or spread the word about why THEY should try it. It just bothers me.
My parents love what my sisters do and I just feel isolated sometimes because I am different. The worse is when the forget to call me for dinner. Or when the I forget to tell me they are going shopping or out to eat.
Other times rather then feeling isolated I feel jelious. And very much so. For example, My little sister was in the hospital. Yes I was scared, scared for her, and scared about her health but more so I was mad. I was mad at her for once again getting ALL of the attention. I purposely fought with my mom so I could get a little bit more attention out of it. It really is a horrible thing because my sister needed my parents then, but i couldn't help myself. In a way i just felt anger at her and my mom and I wanted a way to get back. And last febuary when my older sister was in the hospital i was angry at her because she took the attention away from me, during MY birthday. I was angry. But I din.didn't show it. I showed it to one person but I showed it to her more so as sympathetic (for my sister) then jealous.
I feel that if I were to tell my parents how I felt they would be offended rather then happy that i could tell them something like that. I did try telling my mom one time by texting her. I just got in trouble and she didn't understand. I will never be able to tell anyone because I don't want them to think I am a selfish brat who doesn't care about her sisters. I do care and love my sisters SO much and I would do almost anything to save them from danger, but I get mad at them when they take MORE attention away from me. It hurts but no one seem or will understand it. So for now I will leave it at that.
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